Game of Thrones Season 8 Finale. Picture: HBO
Game of Thrones Season 8 Finale. Picture: HBO

What a dreary ending to the world’s most popular TV series ever writes MEGAN FURNISS of the Game of Thrones Season 8 Finale.

Game of Thrones Season 8 Finale – Knitting with two different needles!

Spoiler Alert Spoiled Alert

You know what happens when you don’t have two knitting needles that are the same size but you insist on trying to knit? Big holes. And small holes. And nothing to wear at the end.

Really, if what it takes is the gentle murder of your queen/lover/dictator, the melting of the iron throne, and the choosing of the almost invisible Bran to rule to guarantee that the series is over, bravo to the GoT team for coming up with the dreariest ending to the world’s most popular TV series ever.

Honestly, that king’s council, with all the men shooting the breeze and moving the chairs, and little pissy jokes, made it feel like nothing had happened in eight years, bar the aging and growing of beards.

And in this last episode some of the stares, walks and silences were so long I could actually SEE the hairs growing on Tyrion and Jon Snow.

Game of Thrones Season 8 Finale. Picture: HBO

GoT finale – mostly filler

Come to think of it, the longest episode was mostly filler. Those ‘in time’ spear banging moments by The Unsullied. Those repeated unexplained ‘staring at the ocean from a ship’s deck’ moments by Arya (where was she going, on a ship now, out of the blue?), and the longest crowning ceremony with the tiniest crown for Sansa.

Another sign of filler was the whispering. Jon and Tyrion whispered for about eight minutes. Jon and Dany whispered for another eight minutes, before he, whisperingly, plunged a tiny knife into her body that made her bleed a little bit out of her mouth and nose (weird GoT fantasy science there?) Jon whispered to his direwolf, which was weird because the poor, big, white creature had lost an ear, obvz in a part of the battle we didn’t actually see. And even old Sansa whispered, but I think that was just her trying to play high status.

Poor Brienne had to whisper to herself a little bit, because she was rewriting the history of her love, Jaime, and Samwell just spoke in his usual, stilting, soft and stumbly way, which is like whispering but with high pitch, and he smooshed the announcement of Bran as king into being with the least energy possible.

So, what’s everyone going to be doing now, now that that’s all over, except for the petition to remake the whole of Season 8? Hopefully we’ll see you for some live performance in a theatre near you.

What: Game of Thrones Season 8 Finale
GOT Season 8 Finale: Screening on M-Net, then Showmax
WS