[star rating=”3″] HOTEL ARTEMIS. Directed by Drew Pearce with Jodie Foster, Sterling K Brown, Sofia Boutella, Dave Bautista and Jeff Goldblum.
JANE MAYNE reviews
The Old Lady runs a tight ship at the Hotel Artemis. Yeah, that’s our Jodie. She reincarnates here as the one and only head ‘Nurse’ at a shady looking joint that patches up bad blokes who’ve succumbed to the heat and need some TLC – fast.
Nurse’s safe haven is sorely in need of a good scrub down, but she’s a focused concierge and thrives in the fluorescent haze that bathes the rooms of Hotel Artemis.
The off-limits hospital is a dimly-lit surreal chamber where villains can rest assured they’re suitably barricaded off from the outside world in ‘wards’ stacked with the latest medical gizmos.
Despite the mayhem of a riot-torn, futuristic Los Angeles everything is “just peachy” at the Artemis. And one of the reasons why her popular bolthole functions so well is because Nurse has rules. That’s right – upfront membership is required for admission for urgent medical care, and if you’re not paid up, tough.
Jodie’s Nurse is all burdened, angsty, and overacted. She’s a mom who lost her boy some time back to the underworld, and Hotel Artemis is her refuge from all the upheaval just beyond the walls. She’s pretty settled in this rat hole, but a couple of new guests upset the cool running of the legendary establishment.
Waikiki, played by Sterling K Brown, adds much of the mesmerising meat of the film. He’s a bank robber who arrives with his wounded brother. Then easy-on-the-eye Sofia Boutella pitches up as a French assassin with a self-inflicted injury – she has plans.
Major player The Wolf King (Jeff Goldblum) then appears with a whole crew of heavies fronted by his youngest son (Zachary Quinto). Turns out The Wolf King is the city’s leading crime boss who is actually the money behind Hotel Artemis, and we soon learn he also has a past connection with The Nurse.
The Rules
It’s a busy night as the gangsters pile in, but to add to the organisational chaos there’s a most unwelcome entry as wounded cop (Jenny Slate) makes a plea for access. But Nurse is SO torn as this is a No-Cops-Allowed joint – and would seriously break The Rules.
Her assistant Everest (Dave Bautisna) ends up as the calm beneath it all. He has great big shoulders to lean on and cuts it as a dependable hulk looking out for Nurse’s best interests.
All-in-all, Foster’s overwrought Nurse keeps the life-support on, but she plays her melancholia just a touch too over-arched.
As such, Hotel Artemis becomes a somewhat passable noir which meshes together an atmospheric vintage-tinged futuristic netherworld complete with 3D printers and big syringes amply fueled with the hospital’s medicinal armoury.
There are some squishy grunge moments, and the dramatic play-out fills the gaps, but ultimately check out time at gloomy Hotel Artemis comes as a mild relief.
What: Hotel Artemis film review
Age Restriction: 16 DLV
Run time: 94 minutes
WS
