CRAZY RICH ASIANS. Directed by Jon M Chu, with Constance Wu, Henry Golding, Gemma Chan.

A plush rom-com that follows the normal trajectory, and funnels down to a smiley sunset scenario. The difference for Westerners is that it’s pinned around two Asians who believe they’ve netted the perfect mate. Problem is, super rich Nick (Golding) comes from one of Singapore’s elite families, while sharp New Yorker Rachel (Wu) isn’t in the same league. Nick’s family are a tough sell, but the heroine holds her own when suitability becomes a critical issue.

Crazy Rich Asians is kind of what you’d expect from fresh-faced youngsters all misty-eyed about the pending ball and chain, but the glossy screenplay is light and gorgeously styled and colourful enough to make it enjoyable viewing. Based on Kevin Kwan’s bestseller. Crazy Rich Asians DVD Extras: Crazy Rich Fun. – Jane Mayne

THE MEG. Directed by Jon Turteltaub, with Jason Statham, Bingbing LiJessica McNamee.

Aw, Jason rarely fails to disappoint, but this cousin of Jaws is a real bottom feeder that just never comes up for air. It’s a big blue rescue mission hooked around a costly undersea observation program. Here everything looked peachy until a 75-foot pre-historic beast, The Megalodon, pops up and wreaks havoc. It’s over to gung-ho ruffian Jonas Taylor (Statham) to save the day.

As expected there’s a body count, yet despite the mortality issues there’s absolutely NO sense of drama at all. Smirky Ruby Rose also didn’t seem to gettit that things were kinda’ serious, even with the huge teeth-tub trawling close by smacking lips for easy pickings. The Meg DVD Extras: Chomp on This: the Making of The Meg: Director Jon Turteltaub and cast reveal the challenges and fun of working in open water. – JM

MIDNIGHT SUN. Directed by Scott Speer, with Bella Thorne, Patrick Schwarzenegger.

Sweet, but forgettable movie about a 17-year-old who suffers from XP (xeroderma pigmentosum), meaning she can’t bask in sunlight. Something of a hermit, home-schooled Katie (Thorne) has her eye on Charlie (Arnold Schwarzenegger’s son Patrick).

When a chance meeting brings them together, a short-lived love blossoms. Altogether a pretty literal depiction with no rough edges or off-beat surprises. No sunscreen needed. JM

OVERBOARD (Remake 2018). Directed by Rob Greenberg, with Anna Faris, Eugenio Derbez, Eva Longoria.

I kept wishing I had been pushed overboard. Anything would have been better than sitting through this completely unfunny, totally ludicrous, shambles of a remake of the original Overboard which starred Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel.

The plot; a spoilt brat of a filthy rich Mexican, Leonardo (Derbez), falls off his massive boat after treating the carpet cleaning lady like dirt, is washed up on a beach, has amnesia and is tricked by the carpet cleaning, pizza delivering, wannabe nurse, single mother Kate (Faris) into believing their tacky squalor half belongs to him. Naturally, he becomes the perfect house husband, blah blah blah. The story centres around every Mexican stereotype, including the telenovela, labourers, and Eva Longoria.

The performances are beyond atrocious. Faris does her best at Goldie Hawn eyes and fails, partly because she has the charm of a soup ladle, and partly because there is not a single meaningful moment in her performance. Derbez’ character goes from vile to shlock with a change of voice; shouty bastard to simpering wimp. There was not one single funny moment. I did not laugh once or even crack a smile. – Megan Furniss