STORY AND PICTURES: KAREN RUTTER
Titanic jokes aide, there’s something quite unnerving about being aboard an ocean liner that’s the length of four football fields and the height of a 23-story building, with 17 decks and over a thousand bedrooms. The Queen Mary 2 is a mega-sized hotel, outfitted with the most careful attention to detail and featuring everything you could want to make your stay comfortable. Once aboard, it’s easy to lose yourself in a world of opulence – fine dining, spa treatments, live entertainment and ballroom dancing. But actually, you’re on a ship in the middle of a very, very, vast ocean. And – icebergs.
But hey, who wants to be a downer when you’re drinking a deliciously crisp Chardonnay and taking delicate bites of crayfish roulade? It became easy to be blasé about ocean cruising when I was given a tour of the Queen Mary 2 when she docked in Cape Town recently. Mainly because we were docked. Not at sea. And because it was just crazy fun.
On my way to the tour I’d watched the Queen Mary 2 sail majestically into Duncan Dock as I was driving to the V & A Waterfront along the freeway, and it was such a brilliant sight. A perfect Cape Town morning, no wind, the water like glass. And to think I would be going aboard this behemoth in a little while …
7000 boxes of strawberries later
Security administration completed, it was time, so we stepped across the gangplank and rode up several stories via elevator to a plush lounge where we met several members of the Queen Mary team. The Captain was like a character from a movie or an Enid Blyton adventure – just how you’d imagine the captain of a ship that is the length of 36 double-decker London buses to be. Calm, affable, but clearly in control of things. He said this particular trip, from South Hampton to Cape Town, was special to him as he had fond memories of his first ever voyage as a child, sailing on a Union Castle liner from the UK to Durban. He’s been with the Cunard company (who operate several liners) since 2008, and was at the helm of the Queen Elizabeth before this.
We also met Master Chef Kraus, who’s been 30 years with Cunard and is now in charge of delivering 15 000 meals a day on board. Some of the food stats are startling – 7000 boxes of strawberries are consumed each year, and the annual tea consumption would fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool! His is a 24/7 operation, and his team have to serve 1000 meals per hour when it comes to formal dinner sittings.
We are given the chance to savour some of his kitchen treats later – that crayfish and Chardonnay I mentioned – but before, it’s time to tour the ship. Obviously we don’t go to all 1348 bedrooms to have a look, and we don’t even have time to see all the lounges and special nooks created to keep guests comfortable. But we do get an idea of the scale – and the specialness – of this operation.
Anybody for a show?
For example, there’s a full-on planetarium on board, situated in a theatre that is better than some on land in Cape Town. The venue is also used for lectures and special shows. There’s a fabulously camp dining room with dance floor, complete with a bandstand for live music.
There’s uber dining for those who want a step up from the already smart service that is available on all decks. There’s a sweeping staircase to make dramatic entrances on (yes, I thought about the Titanic again) and even a nightclub (not quite an Ultra set up, but fun enough). There are lounges where you can kick back and enjoy playing on http://www.southafricaonlinecasinos.co.za
Above deck there’re more than enough opportunities to walk off all the food and drink that is available day and night. You can jog on the 360-degree Promenade Deck, play mini-tennis, and swim lengths in one of four outside pools. You can even walk your dog! Yup, those guests who don’t want to leave Fido at home can cruise with their canines, who have a special suite all to themselves.
Taking a cruise is a lifestyle choice that may not appeal to everybody – but many, many people find it incredibly satisfying. To be frank, on our visit we saw mainly older white people aboard. But the Captain assured us that it depended on what time of year one cruised (they are full of families over school holidays, it seems), and where in the world a cruise starts and ends. The passengers are pretty diverse, he says.
Despite the incredibly modern machinations of the operation, ocean cruising makes a stylish bow to a gentler era of dressing up for dinner, maybe having a drink with the captain, and taking a promenade under the stars above a moonlit sea.
Doesn’t sound too, shabby does it? Except. Icebergs …
What: Cunard cruising offers a variety of trips that include transatlantic crossings, Mediterranean cruises, explorations of the fjords and even full world cruises.
Info: Cunard
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